Slowing down & rushing less.

Greetings friends! I hope all is well in this new month of October. I kept writing 09/01/24 for the date at work this past week so my mind is still in September mode. I find the transition from a one-digit to a two-digit month can be tricky for the brain.

For those of you who don’t know, I currently work as a psychometrist for two neuropsychology offices (yes, look at me using my degree) in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, Virginia. I live part-time in Norfolk, part-time at my parents’ house in Yorktown, VA, Richmond on occasion, and wherever else I might feel like traveling when the weekend comes. Every Sunday, I pack up my car and begin my journey back to Norfolk for my four-day work week. Then, on Thursday or sometimes Friday, I pack up my car AGAIN and go to my next location. It’s a somewhat vicious cycle of always being on the go.

When I first started my job and would explain this cycle to close friends and family, I would often be met with the same look of bewilderment and comments like, “Wow, that sounds like a lot.”

At first, I didn’t acknowledge how this lifestyle might be affecting me. The job was a great opportunity to learn something new while also getting to explore new cities. But when I really stopped to think about it, I realized how much I was rushing between places. I was often in a rush while at work too, struggling to find the time for a lunch break in between my patients for the day or working diligently so I could leave at 5pm.

As soon as work would end on Thursday, I would race home to pack my car and make it to whatever the next place or event was — like getting home for dinner, attending my sister’s field hockey game, a flight the next morning at 6am, dinner with a friend, etc. No one demanded my presence anywhere, but I felt compelled to show up. After a few short weeks of this routine, I was exhausted. I felt like I was being stretched so thin, like I needed to be in so many places at once. This resulted in challenges in my relationships with my friends, family, and boyfriend and signified it might be time for a change.

My bestie Elizabeth has taught me the importance of asking myself, “is what I am doing sustainable?” She once said this in conversation, and it has become a key part of our friendship when giving advice to one another. Whenever things start to feel extra challenging and more like a chore than a joyful activity, I’ll stop to ask myself “is what I am doing right now sustainable? How long can I continue doing this before it becomes too much? Has my excitement for this now turned into dread or anxiety?”

After asking myself this question, I realized that constantly being in between places was not sustainable and that I needed to slow down – a task that has proven challenging for me in recent years and still requires intentional effort.

The best thing I could do to slow down would be to stay in one place more often, but for right now I love spending time at home, so I am willing to find a balance. This balance looks like gradually packing my car the night and the morning before or staying an extra day to allow myself time to settle before my next move. It looks like saying no to plans or for my own sake so that I can slow down both mentally and physically. It looks like spending a relaxing weekend at home rather than a trip to visit friends. There are other ways in my life in which I have been trying to reduce rushing like opting for a long walk instead of a run, packing my lunch or my gym bag the night before, and reminding myself that not every activity needs to be a race against the clock.

Slowing down allows me to show up better for myself and those around me, and it’s an intentional habit I’m focused on right now. When I feel myself moving too fast, I realize that I am not being present. It’s nearly impossible for me to pay attention to the current experience when I feel so focused on what comes next. While slowing down might jeopardize efficiency, or plans with friends, I view it more as self-care rather than a sacrifice. To look after myself allows me to look after others more diligently.

If you find yourself feeling like you are constantly in a rush, know that you aren’t alone! More importantly, know that it’s ok to slow down.