Post-grad series: #1

It’s nearly a month post-graduation, which feels like an appropriate time to check in and assess how things are going.

I feel like there is a shared acknowledgement that graduating from college is bittersweet, a little bit scary, and full of a lot of change; but I also feel like there’s not enough discussion about the amount of loss associated with it. We oftentimes lose proximity to the people who have become important to us. We might move to a new place and lose the comfortability we once felt in our reliable and mostly consistent college towns. We lose routine. For those of us who move back home, we also might lose some independence. So let me assure you that if you feel like you have a lost a lot in the last month, you probably have. And it’s ok to feel that way.

It also feels like there isn’t much time to process our emotions about this closing chapter, as we live in a world where there is always something next. There is rarely a time in which there is a pause in our life-planning journey. Has it always been this way? Has there always been this looming pressure to answer the million-dollar question of “what’s next?”

Half-way through college I became bad at chilling. I mean really bad. I’m talking I used to dread the weekends because there was too much free time. Too much time to ponder “what the hell am I doing?” I was always trying to find ways to ensure I was busy: volunteering, picking up shifts at work, spending hours at the gym, or scheduling back-to-back plans with friends. I would do all this just to end each day thinking damn I am so tired. Long story short, I was restless (almost to an extreme). If I was not doing something to propel myself forward or improve my future, then it wasn’t worthwhile. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I share this because it feels extra relevant to the period that myself and a lot of my fellow recent college grads are experiencing right now. Life feels fast AND slow at the same time. Or maybe it feels like life and everyone else in the world is moving fast and it’s me who is moving slow. While some of you might be taking a “gap year” (I hate this term but more on that later), or you have recently joined the workforce, or maybe you have moved back to your family’s home, or maybe you are traveling the world, I encourage you to enjoy it. Enjoy the season of life that you are presently in and understand that it is all part of your journey. Remind yourself often that comparison is the thief of joy, and no one’s story is like your own. You are uniquely you, and the path you choose must be the one that feels right for you (and not the path you saw someone post on reddit about how they got into med school).

Take this time to learn more about yourself as you navigate the world. Take note of the places, things, and people that you love. Find interests and hobbies that bring you joy. Notice what you don’t like and acknowledge it’s okay to not like stuff. I recently discovered that I really do not like kale (so why do I keep buying it?). Know that there will be people you meet that you won’t like, and there will also be people who aren’t your biggest fan. BUMMER.  Reach out to your friends, hug your family and parents extra tight, and remember that at the end of the day, you must do it for you.

So, keep doing what you’re doing, whatever that may be. Not every day will be an improvement and there will be setbacks – but know that you are beyond capable. If your days feel slow, appreciate the slowness. You can almost guarantee that there will come a day in the future where you crave the slowness and mundaneness of your current days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be on the lookout to give help to those who need it. Appreciate where you are right now and realize you won’t be here forever. This is just the beginning!

Feel free to share any updates on what you are doing, what you have learned recently, or something you miss about college. I’d love to hear from you!

-Kat