Brain Dump! Does anyone even read this?

My patient cancelled this morning and therefore I’m not making any money because I only have a somewhat-kind-of-sorta-big girl job where I get paid hourly. So here I am at the public library because I can’t go sit in a cute hipster coffee shop and leech of their free Wi-Fi and NOT BUY a $7 latte because that would make me evil, and I am drinking less coffee starting today. Instead, I’m sipping on my $4 Guava Goodness kombucha in front of the non-fiction books section pouring my time into a blog post that the same 3 people consistently read (shout out to you guys, you’re so real for that). Also there is an older gentleman on the phone with IT support trying to reset his Virginia Tech account password who keeps saying “this is insane, Virginia Tech is insane.” I actually don’t know how the person on the other end has not hung up yet. I love being a Hokie alum. Days like today is what makes life exciting! And you bet I’m excited.

Full transparency I HAVE thought about my blog over the last few weeks and when opportunity arises to work on it, I choose to do something else! Reasons I avoid my blog: 1) I have been busy and sometimes I do just forget about it. 2) I feel like no one reads it and it’s not big and popular, so I question if I am wasting my time and energy. 3) My ideas have been meh.

Reasons why I should not avoid my blog: 1) I like to write and create! 2) Some of my friends and family do read it, and if my sole purpose in posting is to update them on what’s going on in my world then so be it. 3) Maybe one day it will take off and a million-billion people will read it! 4) I paid for the website domain for an entire year, and I am not one to waste money.

I don’t really feel like writing anything complex and deep because my brain has been scrambled recently, like a 4 egg omlette with so many toppings and so much cheese that it’s a little bit gross. Without further ado, you get to read an extensive brain dump of thoughts since my last post.

• I’ve started saving my empty yogurt containers to use as storage for leftovers and to put into perspective how much yogurt I eat and it’s so scary. I would hate to know the amount of money I have spent on Fage Greek yogurt in the last 365 days.
• I used to never understand how people could handle the emotional burden of being a hospice nurse, but I think I am slowly beginning to understand why people choose that career.
• Sometimes I think I intentionally pick activities, books, songs, jobs, etc. that are emotionally challenging or that make me sad. Why do I do this???? I am not a sad person by any means. While these activities or experiences might bring me temporary sadness, I feel like they also teach me so much about what makes life special.
• What does is truly mean to have patience? People will tell me all the time that I have “so much patience” but I feel like I have none. Or maybe I use it all up during the day and I don’t have any left over for my friends and family.
• I don’t like chicken thighs.
• I don’t have to respond to anyone right away and no one owes me a response immediately either!
• I miss my friends.
• Family is everything!!!!!!!!!!!
• Weekends are for rest and it’s okay to be lazy.
• I like puzzles, board games, and actively using my brain.
• I want to learn how to make my own pottery, I want to compete in a triathlon, I want to figure out what is going on with my back, I want to go out west and hike, I want to practice my Spanish and become bilingual.
• I want everyone to have access to nutritious foods and I want to end food insecurity.
• I want to lift heavy weights and run fast and do yoga.
• I think I want to go to grad school? TBD.
• Should I be a librarian? A park ranger?
• What makes life meaningful? How does it look so different for everyone?
• I want my own apartment or my own house, and I want the backyard to be full of fruits and vegetables. I want to make my own granola and kombucha and enjoy my coffee on a screen porch with a lot of sunshine and mountains and greenery. I want my independence and to build my life!

Thanks for reading my brain dump and my yapping. Happy Monday.